Flowers speak louder to the expat Dutch wannabe...but why?







I ask my students if they are planning on going to the Keukenhof, the world's largest flower garden spectacle. They justifiably don't understand my pronunciation until a kindly soul who has mastered the deciphering of my butchered Dutch words rephrases the question for the class.

"Thats only for old people and tourists," remarks one, followed by unanimous nods from across the room.

I inform them that I just bought my tickets. In this masterful, single-handed stroke, I have just underlined in their minds how old I actually am!

I take this further. I ask my Dutch colleagues if they are going to the Keukenhof. They ask why would they? They ruthlessly disrupt my definition of this event as an "older Dutch sport" as absolutely lacking evidence and foundation. Not ONE 'older' Dutch colleague has been to it nor plans to go.

It's not like people here don't like flowers. On the contrary. This is a flower-loving nation. Its inherently unfair that the hippies hold the title as the flower-power generation as the Dutch deserve it more so with their daily and weekly purchase of flowers, their home collection of 10-12 different vases for different floral arrangements, and their general tendency to mark occasions with the humbling presence of the thorn and petal.

So why is it that when 7 million tulips are planted annually in the town of Lisse in the South of Holland, do the Dutch scorn and scuttle in the opposite direction? Its obviously not for the dearth of quality flowers.

What happened to the old Dutch Tulip mania that feverishly brought Tulip prices to equal an annual merchants wage in the 17th century? Did that fever find a cure? Has that beast been tamed and domesticated in this remote town for few to witness? Again,..hardly, It is one of the most photographed locations in the world and a million like myself flock annually to this area in search of beauty and should I say this..."Dutch culture?" While I seek to be a commoner, I am rudely surprised that its not the Dutch commons that I was seeking to partake of. Its this morphed tourist-expat-queen type of common that I find myself amongst.

To confuse matters, the Walk Like An Egyptian song frames my experience of entry into this Dutch portal where we are offered maps by women dressed up like the Duchess of the past and as we venture further, Russian dolls play with the landscape. If its from Russia with love, then is it from Holland with I kind of like you but am too reluctant to show it sentiment? How does the simple expat trying hard to become more "Dutch" cope with this foreign love affair?

So can Keukenhof authentically represent "Dutch culture" if it has been architected for the non-Dutch? Can these flowers speak of a Dutchness to us non-Dutch? And if so, what is it that we should be hearing through this floral scream?

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